It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize