As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
