He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
