So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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