are you still at the devil's house?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
