The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
