fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
