She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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