Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
