I'm lost and stupid without you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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