I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
