were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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