im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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