Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Less talking, more tequila
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize