whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
