did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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