He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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