Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
