you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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