What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
