Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
