so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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