Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
