i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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