Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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