It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
