I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
