is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
