I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
