the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize