I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
