I smell stomach acid.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
