You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
