Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
