Don't you send me to vm
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dear god my vagina.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize