and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
