My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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