I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
