you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize