Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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