Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
