Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
