in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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