I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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