you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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