we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
