I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
