On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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