Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
