OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
