can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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