So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
