Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
