I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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