hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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