this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
