Say something about gay babies.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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