I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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