I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
