Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
