i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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