i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
