covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he's gonorrhea incarnate
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize