The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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