So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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